- 5 kids upstairs one shouted down ‘Mum, we need something sharp’ then one of them shouted ‘never mind, we’ve found something’
- in a public loo… ‘Oh Mummy, how sad, you don’t have a willy. I will buy you one from the shop….’
- ‘Mummy, would you like me to draw you a picture of some snot!’… said loudly in a cafe
- “my Daddy’s got a HUGE willy, and it has an ENORMOUS arrow-head…”
- “I’m going to try to start a fire”
- to Grandad who was in the shower “My daddy’s got one of those but it’s bigger than yours!”
- to her Godmother’s face and told her ‘you look like a pig.’
- in the Ladies’ loos at Debenhams: “Mum, have you got the bleeding bottom business again?”
- “What the HELL are you doing?” DS, 2.5 at his mum preparing his lunch.
- “I like my willy but I can’t cuddle it, awww. Daddy do you cuddle your willy?”
- gran to child ‘we dont’ put our fingers in our mouths do we as we know where they’ve been…?’ response – ‘Yes, we do, on my willy’
- “Ummm, mummy’s not going to be very happy with us…” at 6am on a Sunday morning.
- “Oh dear, the blue bead is gone” while rootling around nose with finger.