Boys December 30, 2007

This week, what with the excitement of Christmas and New Year, getting over the tiredness of school etc, the joy of the boys being able to play with each other a lot and tiredness, they’ve been pretty wild. I don’t mean naughty, just hi-energy.

We’ve had a couple of looks and comments too many from childless people, parents of girls of of bizarrely sedate boys (not judging, just envious!). A friend gave me an article written by a mum of boys saying that parents with girls often judge what appears to be boys who are out-of-control and that eventually she would only go on playdates with parents of boys. Has anyone else found this or are my children genuinely wild!!? We’ve tried to give them freedom and space to run and play but I’m beginning to wonder if we’ve given too much…

Ethical dilemmas…

So my latest dilemma is that Gabe is having a big 5th birthday, inviting all the class and a few other friends. We’ve gone to a lot of effort to make Christmas fairly sustainable – as little new plastic stuff as possible, food locally sourced, as little packaging as we could muster and we didn’t drive far either. So I can’t face a groaning table of brand new plastic presents he doesn’t need.

I was going to ban presents but Nige said that was just mean and ‘how often are you 5’ after all? We’ve worked on a compromise where we’ve said that because he’s having so many children feel free to bring nothing / something small / something from a charity shop of their child’s they no longer like but Gabe would / something homemade etc.

Do you think we’re bonkers???

Books crossing in the night… December 28, 2007

Great website for swapping books – http://www.bookcrossing.com/ – you ‘tag’ your book with a code, leave it in a public place (e.g. Youth Hostel, cafe) and then the person who picks it up and reads it can log their comments against the code, the book might travel the world and you can meet it’s readers!

Outdoor Fridays and other fun things December 26, 2007

A friend of mine, Tamar, organises ‘Outdoor Fridays’ for preschoolers to do something… well.. outdoors.

This Friday they are meeting outside St Werburgh’s cafe at 10 for a walk up onto the hill.  Last time they went it took about 2 hours and they walked a circular route but we could go and come back the same way if we wanted to make it shorter.  Bring a drink and snack to have at the bench at the top of the hill – there are lovely views from there.

Also check out Pirate Pete’s Harbour Pirate walks at weekends at 2pm and look out for Talk Like a Pirate day coming soon…

The 7 ages of man

So Gabe, almost 5, has hit that age where Dad is always right. Dad knows better than me how to fix things (fair enough), how to make stuff out of wood (ditto), how to cycle (he’s got a point), cook (groundless), drive (utterly without evidence) and now about all matters financial (laughable). We’re heading for the age where mum is obsolete and Dad is all and, as is often the case, it’s half a relief and half devastating.

I guess it’s just another challenge, something I was unprepared to deal with with such frequency.  When Jude lost his beloved Chitty Chitty Bang Bang miniature replica I was gutted for him and went to fetch the spare (they came in a pack of 3!) but Nige said he needed to learn ‘how to deal with disappointment’. We then had a half hour debate about this particular point; my view was that 2 and a half might be too young for such a tough lesson (one I have enormous trouble dealing with myself). Needless to say by the time we’d reached some sort of resolution he’d found the car and our healthy debate was obsolete.

Christmas…

hope you’ve all had a good one. I was to be found nursing a cup of hot tea at 6.30am listening to the dulcit tones of remote control cars racing down the hall, accompanied by the sound of Johnny Cash crooning about ‘loading his gun’ on his “children’s” album. By 9am we had mounted a full scale hunt for the miniature replica of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang which had already been lost under a sofa.

We did manage to get to a pub for a couple of drinks and although avoiding overeating miraculously (and mostly due to the fact that I kept being distracted by the wild goats while I was shopping so didn’t have that much to overeat with!) we did fall asleep on the sofa at 9.30pm.

Anyway, good cheer to you all and apologies for lack of cards to those I actually know, I’ve given some money to Book Aid who send very useful text books and children’s books to nurses, mechanics and kids in Africa.

toddler yoga December 19, 2007

Yoga and yoga-based exercise for babies and toddlers

By Sam Petter, Tatty Bumpkin

It seems that you can’t open the paper these days without some reference to yoga jumping out of the pages. While it seems to be a victim of its own success, the regular misunderstanding of it often means that it fails to reach the people who it would be most beneficial to. There must be a reason why it is so popular! So let’s take a step back and take a look at what yoga is, how it can be adapted for children, and how it can have a positive effect on home life and the whole family.

What is yoga?

Yoga is not rocket science, nor is it some strange spiritual exclusive club (although it can be in some circles). Yoga is about breath awareness, with physical postures, which brings about a harmony and balance between the mind and the body. In addition, the Sivananda School of Yoga states that there are 5 main principles: Postures, breathing, relaxation, diet, and positive thinking/meditation. The body is made to do yoga; the postures create certain pressure to stimulate body and brain, helping the individual to become healthy, happy and whole as a person. You know this to be true – if your back is hurting for example, then your mind is totally taken up with this, and your whole outlook and demeanour reflects this.

Children’s yoga can have even deeper effects, as the baby / toddler’s body is a blank canvas. Specifically, I am referring to baby yoga and toddler yoga up to 5 – the principles remain the same, but the postures advance, with increased awareness after this age.

Children are born natural yogis, with good posture and excellent breathing – notice how a baby fully utilises their whole lung capacity with abdominal breathing. Scientific evidence shows that regular yoga practice can keep children healthy by boosting the immune system and keeping the rest of the body functioning at optimum levels.

Baby yoga 

Baby yoga can be done from birth, and works on the nervous, physiological, and digestive systems. One baby yoga session is the equivalent to a whole day’s normal exercise. The principles are the same – using movement, songs and breath we stimulate, stretch and relax the baby, and by the end of a 45 minute session, you would not believe how relaxed (often asleep) a baby is.

This relaxation is the core of baby yoga. Each stretch is balanced with relaxation; the baby learns that tension and relaxation are complementary. The baby will be able to experience deep relaxation actively – as an in-between state to sleeping and waking. Once they have mastered this, the better they are able to respond to tension associated with physical discomfort.

It all makes sense when you think about it; the baby is constricted in the car seat, the pram, the cot, and needs encouragement to develop its physical awareness. An added benefit is the enhanced communication between carer and baby (I say carer as often it is the father or nanny who comes to a class) and to see the heart opening effects of the songs, chants and rhymes on the adult and the child, is wonderful. As a new parent myself, I had forgotten not only the nursery songs I learnt as a child, but how to vocalise. Once you realise that the child is non-judgemental, and hears your voice as the most beautiful on the planet, it only serves to make you sing more and more loudly!

Francoise Freedman is the founder of the Birthlight Baby Yoga movement in the UK, and there is a list of qualified baby yoga teachers on the web site http://www.birthlight.com, and a wealth of resources. Myself, I did baby yoga with my son. I loved it from the beginning, going on to train as a Birthlight teacher, and now a teacher of teachers!

I teach 2 classes a week at the moment, and get as much pleasure from teaching it to new mums and babies as I did doing it myself. The quiet at the end of a session (generally), with the mums relaxing, and the babies contentedly yawning and snuffling amazes everybody concerned.

As the babies become more active, so the classes involve more swings and drops, developing the vestibular system (spatial awareness). At this stage it is even more important that they recognise the difference between wakefulness and sleep – so they can play / amuse themselves without external stimulation.

Once crawling, the type of stretches and moves develop and move on, and really can be done only in short bursts – the session must always be led by the baby, and so often their interest will wander over to a toy or old bit of fluff on the carpet. I found the best used of the songs and movements so carefully learnt, was to use as a distraction technique.

As the crawling baby, turns into a little toddler, the yoga once again comes into its own.

TODDLER YOGA

From birth, your child has stretched their limbs, twisted, and bent their bodies to create the full range of movement, establishing the flexibility of the major joints. Once this flexibility is established, toddlers go on to develop strength, mainly by lifting and carrying their increasing body weight. Unless they continue to experience a variety of movement, they will begin to lose innate flexibility. It is amazing how many young children cannot touch their toes for example.

Yoga not only helps to maintain this flexibility but impacts on all the child’s body systems, and equally as importantly; mental focus, imagination, self belief and a sense of fun. All of this serves to build a strong foundation for children to expand their confidence and become aware of their body, improving flexibility and co-ordination. Doing classes together with their friends / parent helps everyone to have fun and releases tension.

While I personally don’t disagree with competitive sports, yoga is non-competitive, and encourages the child to be in the present rather than to strive for a goal. In Tatty Bumpkin classes, we have worked on a structure in conjunction with paediatric physios and educationalists that incorporate the key skills and moves. However, none of this is visible during the imagination-lead story classes, where the child and carer go on adventures doing poses and breathing exercises without even realising it!

To encourage active participation, we use a Tatty Bumpkin yoga doll to demonstrate the moves and become an integral part of the story. Once at home, you will often find doll and child in some amazing embrace as they embark on their own yoga journey.

YOGA AT HOME

If you already practice yoga yourself, you will know how important it is in keeping you sane and grounded. The whole family benefits from a yoga practice, and you will be surprised at how far reaching the effects are. Positive outlook, positive affirmations, quiet time, visualisation and increased communication, are all ways that can help in the long term health and happiness of the family.

Watch whilst you all become, bendy, giggly, clever and strong.

Stand by the giggle tree and laugh out loud

Stories December 12, 2007

So I used to love stories about big events and important people – historical figures, myths and the like. Now that I’ve become a mum I love the stories of everday people, of seemingly trivial events which actual affect everyday life more than we know. I walked back from school today, a routine and mundane task.

I passed mums with stories of their own: battles to find meaningful work they can feel passionate about; struggles to get the attention their child with special needs requires; marital problems; traumatic births; those suffering with grief of many kinds; dealing with issues raised from their own childhoods; those with partners from far off lands with stories of their own; stories of forgotten loves; of travels and adventures both past and to come; women and men with talents, secrets, desires and dreams.

So when you next feel your life as a parent is mundane, try looking for the stories.

Sleep on it…

I am fascinated by sleep (see post on facts about sleep). Maybe since I haven’t been getting enough but I love reading about sleep studies, hearing the differences in people’s ‘sleep hygiene’ as they call it and the unusual feeling when I’ve actually had enough of the stuff.

So here’s a top tip: when you’ve got a problem, a decision to make or some creative thing to do, sleep on it. The old adage is backed up by sleep research: when you take stuff in in the day, it goes into the short term memory, often jumbled and without much sense being made of it. When you sleep, bits of it are put in the longer term memory bits of the brain (getting technical here, are you keeping up?) and some are dumped. They think the process of dreaming might have a role in sorting out what to keep, maybe even playing the bits you don’t need to keep like film then dumping them).

For children this process can happen in their naps which is why very young children sleep so much as they need to take in small bits of information and then make sense of it (and why you shouldn’t force them to give up napping and accept if napping comes back again later on).

For adults it means that often the best thing to do when faced with some seemingly insurmountable problem or difficult decision is to make a warm drink and go to bed. In the morning creative solutions may well present themselves…